At Church last week, Jeff Manion gave a wonderful message on Ecclesiastes 4:8-12, the Two Are Better than One passage.
One person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:8–12
During the message, Jeff made a compelling case for doing life together as Christians. The wisdom of building strong relationships, before the crisis comes, is valuable because we never see the crisis coming.
After the message, I was so grateful for the relationships that God has brought into my life.
The people I am invested in and they in me. We have sustained each other through difficult times. We have made it through hardships together. And made it out on the other side, stronger, closer, more joyful and with more wisdom and understanding of the value of life together.
I spent some time this week in Ecclesiastes 4. God revealed something to me on the three metaphors used in the second part of the passage: falling, warmth and protection.
How They Translate to the Emotional World
These traveling metaphors are different in our culture with cars, homes with central heating and doors that lock. Still, the metaphors of falling, warmth and protection translate to the emotional dimension of our lives.
It also appears that these three metaphors point three areas of human needs of power and control, affection and esteem, security and protection.
Falling – Power and Control
We all need a friend to pick us up when we are veering off Gods path. When we acknowledge when we have fallen, these people not show is forgiveness but also challenge and correction to walk in the right way.
I can recall one particular occasion when I did something so stupid it shocked me. I reached out to a couple of close friends to let them know what was going on. They didn’t give me condemnation, which is actually what I wanted. They gave me offers to keep connecting, have lunch and stay in the relationship. They helped me set up a strategy and system of accountability to keep my commitments.
Warmth – Affection and Esteem
Nowadays, with houses and cars that are heated, we don’t need physical warmth from each other as we once did. But the need for emotional warmth, in this seemingly arctic tundra, is needed more than ever!
We have to have people that love us for who we are. These are people who know everything about us and still love us. They give us the constant reminder that we are cared about and cared for.
Isn’t it heartwarming to know that we are valued and needed and worthwhile, just as we are!?!
Protection – Security and Survival
Deep relationships are the ones that provide emotional safety. These are the people that we can be vulnerable with and know that they are not going to use something against us. We can turn our backs and know that we won’t be harmed.
A great friend of mine swims in the deep end of the emotional pool, and I admire his emotional awareness journey. One time at Camp Paradise, his presence and support was the encouragement I needed to dive a little deeper emotionally. He helped me to know that it would be ok, I wouldn’t get stuck in it, and he could help me get back out.
We need a friend that can watch out for us and provide safety to do emotional work, as opposed to avoiding it out of fear that we will be stuck in it forever.
With Christ, This is More Than Advice
Ecclesiastes 4 was written well before Jesus walked on Earth, and it is great advice. We all can see the need to seek other people and invest in each other so that we have the support when we need it.
“But with the coming of Jesus and the cross of Jesus, makes it more than great advice.”
Jeff Manion
The forgiveness we have in Jesus, a price he paid on our behalf, is exactly what picks us up when we fall.
Jesus is the warm place where we feel accepted, a place where we belong. This makes me think about the picture of the Father running out to greet the Prodigal Son. That love and welcome made it possible for the son to acknowledge his wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness.
Lastly, it was Christ who willfully submitted and surrendered to be overpowered by the Cross. He did it so that he could be our refuge and the threats of sin and death would not overpower us.
Closing Meditation
If the Lord delights in a man’s way,
he makes his steps firm;
through he stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
Psalm 37:23-24