Good Friday
“What is truth?” Pilate asked.
John 18:38
Truth is a loaded word these days. Or maybe it always has been, and that is why Pilate asked Jesus about it.
So what is truth? Do you have your truth, and I have my truth? Cant I just speak my truth and live my truth and not let it affect you?
The irony of my writing about truth is not lost on me.
Ignorance Is Bliss
Truth and reality is something I most often try to avoid. From my conditioning, if others found out the truth about what I had been up to, it leads to a place of being in trouble. That is a place of being sad and scared. Wanting to avoid the truth or hide from the truth or lie to get away from the truth is the default program I run.
Coming to terms with the idea that the truth is a good thing, has been a long, slow process.
It is a process that I am still in, and it has taken a process, which I will share below, to be open to receiving the insight that you can know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Raising Awareness
We all know when we are flat-out dishonest or deceitful. That is part of it, but the more significant part of the truth is about becoming aware of reality. It is about willingness and openness to meet the reality where it is with acceptance.
Developing a greater sense of awareness is the only way to help others truly. The three areas we need to be aware of are the situation, the other, and the self.
When our sense is off, we end up doing senseless things.
The Situation
It helps to know what to look for in a particular situation so that we can see all that is going on. When we misread the situation, we make false judgments about the intentions and motivations of other people.
One time I was on a brutally difficult sales call with a brand new rep. We had to deliver some hard news and hold our ground amid the onslaught. At one point, the folks in the buying group left the meeting and came back ten minutes later.
Following the meeting, out in the parking lot, we debriefed the call as I wanted a different perspective to try and get an accurate view of the meeting. I asked the other rep a couple of questions about a few details we discussed, and he didn’t remember any of it.
The next day I was meeting with my coach and told him about what happened, and I judged that the young rep was so pegged in the meeting that he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t handle the pressure.
My coach asked me how long he had been at the company, and it had only been there a couple of months. My coach replied, “Maybe he doesn’t know what to look for.”
When you know what to look for, it increases your awareness of the situation. This is not the same as being absolutely sure about all that is going on. That is closed off and not open.
By being clear on our judgments, perceptions, and assumptions, we increase our awareness of ourselves and others.
Coming Clean
The main area for me to acknowledge or avenue to honesty has been around judgments. Each of us has typical ways that we judge others. That is the same couple ones come up over and over again. When we know our main ones, we can recognize them for what they are, judgments or perceptions, and not facts.
The common judgment I have of others is that they are stupid or clueless or don’t know what they are doing. Looking back, this was the typical way I judged my professors in College. All theory and no practical knowledge. No street smarts or real-life experience. I looked down on them, as I know more than you. I didn’t recognize that they had spent their lives digging into a specific subject matter.
A good friend, and fellow coach, Tim, has helped me unpack this. He asked me about my life events and if there was a time that I felt stupid, or like an idiot or not having the smarts.
The first thing that came to mind was being in Year 4 or 5 and needed to be pulled out of class to get help with spelling. I don’t recall being called anything. But in the process of being singled out, I took on the message – can’t spell, must be an idiot. And over time, I made the connection that needing help equated with being stupid, so I had to refuse help and do it all myself.
By reglazing this, I can see a part of my that needs grace and love and blessing and to be healed.
The way we judge others is how to judge ourselves. How we judge ourselves is the way we see the parts of ourselves that need healing.
Getting Clear
Recognize the clearing energy. I get the sense that I’m about to get in trouble. I can feel the fear, and I get afraid. Or when I start blaming others or slamming their character. Self-protection strategies.
The Crucible Project, a men’s ministry I am involved with, is where I learned this process. Their process is much more in-depth than what I have here. I simplified it into four steps.
As a disclaimer, I have seen this process work wonders tens of times in men’s groups and prison ministry, but I hate it myself. This is because I’m scared of facing myself, and I’d rather stay in La La Land, blissed out on ignorance.
- Data – What are the details and facts of the situation? What actually happened or was said in the interaction? If a camera had filmed the event, what would it have recorded?
- Judgments – what is the story you are making up about the other person? Note these are negative judgments of character and not statements of facts, like step 1.
- Feelings – when you are in these situations, what emotions do you feel? As you reflect on the moment, what do you feel right now?
- Wants – what do you want for yourself? When you get into situations like this, what type of person do you want to be?
What does all this have to do with Easter?
Jesus was misjudged and wrongly accused, yet he accepted it. He was God in the flesh, innocent, and the only one that could judge without being hypocritical. In Jesus God, the Judge was judged and condemned.
And because he lives:
Therefore, that is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1
When we think about God as the judge, we think about retribution, right or wrong, good or bad. And that is part of it, but the other part is restoration. He is making things right. Let’s praise him for that!
Reflection Question:
What part of you needs restoration?
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Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!
Let the earth and all living things join in.
Let the rivers clap their hands in glee!
Let the hills sing out their songs of joy
before the Lord,
for he is coming to judge the earth.
He will judge the world with justice,
and the nations with fairness.
Psalm 98:7-9
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