As a salesperson, the primary objective is growing revenue and keeping a steady stream of new business coming in the door, because sales are the lifeblood of any organization.
Depending on the industry, the organization and the individual salesperson, how you go about reaching that goal has an infinite number of possibilities.
Sales and marketing change so quickly that it is essential to keep learning trying new things. But perpetually looking for new methods to implement can make you feel like you are chasing your tail.
There have been times I have taken trying new things, as in crossed a line that could be anything from manipulative to unethical.
I know I’m ultimately responsible for my actions, but often the organization is complicit. While they may not be celebrating wrongdoing, there is a lot they overlook.
Success As A Cover of Flaws
I don’t know which musician said, “there is not much a hit record can’t fix,” but it rings true no matter what you are selling.
You are looking for sales success to fix all your problems, either your organization’s problems or your personal issues.
“Success covers a multitude of blunders.”
George Bernard Shaw
What does it mean to be successful as a Christian?
A verse that always seems to penetrate:
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
Luke 9:25
There have been days and seasons where I felt like what I was selling was my own soul.
Selling your soul is an interesting blind spot. Very deceptive. All the hard work can feel like I’m doing all that I can to provide for my family. I was sacrificing my family, which is the truth of the situation.
Successful at work doesn’t have to lead to child sacrifice.
The Seed of Disconnection
I’m becoming more aware of how often I appease, so not to rock the boat, and it leads to disconnection.
Situations we find ourselves in can go two ways, the lead towards integration or disintegration. Neither is good or bad; they both belong. Awareness of which path is critical.
The choices we make determine where things end up. Our lives are the sum total of the choices we make. A theme reveals itself.
I’m not sure I’m ok with this. What about the bad things that have happened, the trauma? The times when my freedom to choose was taken from me. When I was left with no other option.
Was I aware of the pain I was choosing to numb?
I’m unsure of why my thoughts can get so cloudy. I lose my train of thought. I get asked to clarify what I meant about something I said, and I look for ways to backpedal.
How can I work my way out of the situation so that things don’t escalate? I am being misunderstood and asked to explain, and all I am is confused. The only thing I can think to say is, “I unsure.” And that even feels like a cop-out to diffuse the situation.
How much of my day is trying to get me out of something? The shadow part is that I try to avoid situations where the pressure is rising, and the tension is building. I don’t want to rock the boat, so I try to appease.
When I was a kid and in trouble, I was good at talking my way out of it. My dad would call me Houdini because “He could get himself out of anything.”
I remember times my dad was utterly pissed, and the punishment was coming. I’d talk him out of it, and he would be dumbfounded that he couldn’t lash out in anger.
I found ways to get out of doing the dishes or working in the yard. There was even a time I took the blame for something I didn’t do, just because I wanted this other kid that did it to be my friend. So I got in trouble, in hopes that he would pay me back with his friendship.
There is also a gift here. I’m quick on my feet in a sales situation.
The Barrier To Authentic Connection
These days when it shows up when I am picking up on other’s anger. I’m scared of it, and I need to appease it.
I choose to downplay the anger instead of moving towards it and uncovering the source of the anger.
Humans were created to connect with emotions. Recognizing and attuning to other’s feelings is how we connect. Avoiding other’s emotions is what breaks the connection.
Being a pacifier is keeping me from an authentic connection. By getting out of uncomfortable situations, I am saying that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here with you in these hard emotions because it makes me uneasy.
Change and Transformation
There is change all around us, and it is coming at us from every direction.
William Bridges wrote about Transitions we go through in life, and he made the insightful connection that organizations also go through transition.
Bridges make the distinction between change and transition. Change is when situations shift. Transition is much deeper and is about letting go of the old so that you can take hold of the new.
In spiritual terms, the transformation process is how we are formed into the image of Christ. With Christ as our model, we follow the pattern of his birth, life, death, and resurrection.
When we align ourselves with God’s will, we are transformed. The integration of our soul, body, mind, and heart becomes aligned with God’s will.
When we pray the Our Father, we ask your kingdom come. Your will be done.
Many times I pray, “well, if I damn well knew what Your will was, I wouldn’t be in all this shit.” Or something like that.
Listening for the Holy Spirit as she speaks and the discernment process is crucial. It seems simple, but it is more like a wrestling match.
Spiritual growth is becoming more of who God made us be—relinquishing my will for God’s will. This is no easy feat. Christ wrestled mightily with this before he went to the cross when asked God:
Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.
Luke 22:42
Freedom and Connection
I’m learning the power of connection is facilitated by art. The process of creation puts something out into the world that creates a relationship with others.
When God created humankind, he made us co-creators with him.
Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule…
Genesis 1:26
By creating art, we are responding to God and joining him in the work he is doing in the world.
I know how hard it is to create. The simple act of recognizing what is on my heart and expressing it doesn’t come naturally. It happens every time I sit down to write. I don’t know what I want to make or even if I have anything to say.
Although it is becoming easier, I’ve spent the year in a writing workshop where the sole task is to sit and write for 30 minutes every day. Today is day One Hundred and Fifty-Six!
Creating In Community
I have seen a simple process by how creating things builds relationships.
- You sense the Spirit rumbling in your soul. You inquire withing, trying to put words to it, or define the image.
- You express it and put it out into the world. In a sense, you are broadcasting what is going on in your heart.
- The signal resonates with others. They pick up on it and recognize it within themselves.
- Others reflect what they see—bearing witness to what they heard. The signal returns to you as inspiration, and it helps you come to know yourself at a deeper level.
When you show up and allow yourself to be seen, creation forms with others, it is how we know we are not alone. The connection is an inspiring thing. Others show up and say what they see in your work. In doing so, we become known by others and know ourselves more.
Then when you speak from that place, aware of what is resonating in you, you can connect with others again.
People have helped me connect with my heart and helped me get to know myself. As others take interest and want to get to know me, they do it with care and compassion.
What is it that connects us all?
There are kindness and compassion, and acceptance for where you are at. They hold space for the heavy and the dark, with love and acceptance that brings light.
The value I am experiencing the most is freedom. Free to connect with my heart. Free to share what’s on my heart. And free to share what I see in others because they helped reveal it to me.
What I’ve seen in others I’ve felt in me. Reflect back what you see. Be held in tenderness and compassion.
It won’t fall flat. The connection is what holds us all together.
Does Connection Lead to a Shift in Perspective?
If you and I saw a particular topic differently, and we sat down to chat about it, is the objective to get you to see things my way? When the tension rises, do we just agree to disagree?
There are times that I am afraid of what others would think. Speaking out helps deal with fear. I want to be able to connect with people where we don’t leave our values and worldview at the door.
We are finding the more profound thing that connects us all. That is our humanity. That we all have hopes and dreams and desires we want for our life. We all have things that hold us back and get in the way. Maybe we even hold each other back.
Finding common ground leads to us the larger reality that connects us all.
In Christ
Alexander John Shaia’s book Heart and Mind is helping me realize Christ is the eternal reality that connects us all. Christ is in us, and we are in Christ.
It is the Christ in you, who recognizes the Christ in me.
Henry Nouwen
Reflection Question:
Can You See Christ In All Things?
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For by him, all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things we created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:16-17
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