By experiencing transformation, we see things differently. How we experience life has been changed. This can be internal, past things that I once get hung up on no longer affect me as they once did.
Old patterns of behavior, those well-worn pathways that always lead to the wrong part of town for the wrong reasons. They leave me wondering why am I doing this again?
Until you get to a moment when you are not drawn to it anymore, this fresh new growth should always be celebrated. Something that hooked me in the past no longer has its tentacles in my soul.
Things got out of hand. I took the party train too far, and I made a huge mistake. It was a moral failing brought on by a character flaw. The consequences were living with the regret and pain of hurting the ones I love.
I am glad it wasn’t the end of the story. This episode leads to committing not partying on the road for work. Enjoying the growth and change it brought, I took it a step further to maintain sobriety for the better part of a year. I was then able to see what I was trying to avoid dealing with, and the partying was numbing me out to it.
After this season, life has become vibrant and real. Restricting my freedoms opened up a whole world of possibilities. We all make stupid mistakes. But what if it is a doorway and not a dead end.
Finding The Others
Addictive tendencies narrow our perspective on what brings joy. It is declaring that I have to have this thing to be happy. Your focus becomes so narrow that you don’t even know you cant see it.
I can only make a life change because of the help and support of others—people who want the best for me, even when I color outside the lines with my life.
You can’t do it on your own. It is the people who have navigated a transformation that is best able to help you navigate one. These people give you a gift, sometimes hard-earned, without expecting anything in return.
While the true giver doesn’t expect anything in return, the receiver of the gift has a responsibility to pay it forward. When you have come to see things differently, the responsibility is to help others see differently.
Finding Joy In Others
There have been times when I see and celebrate growth in others to avoid acknowledging that growth in my life had stalled. It is human nature.
Most of the time, I am unwilling to celebrate the joy in others because I think it has depleted the joy reserves. Anything good someone else gets is good that I have missed out on.
I’ve recently found a source of joy that is infinitely available. Not only that, but it is also more overwhelming than any other kind.
Seeing The Ones You Love, Love What You Love
Working from home these days, I set up an office in the guest bedroom. I put the desk at the window, looking out over the backyard. The trees and flowers and grass are all looking fantastic.
I was on a call the other day with folks all around the world. It came to my turn to say my piece, and I was utterly distracted. I tried to go back to what I was saying and lost my train of thought.
My wife was out in the backyard watering the vegetable garden. It is the first year she has planted one, and she loves everything about it. Our next-door neighbor planted one as well, and I love how that is connecting every day and talking about their garden.
Now, I’m a plant guy through and through. I love my trees. I give them names like Rocky after my Dendrology professor and Maggie, like my niece. And I know their Latin names. You can love a tree a lot more when it is not just a tree but a Pseudotsuga menziesii or a Taxodium distichum.
But I don’t have that childlike wonder my wife has about her vegetables. It gives me the joy to see her getting into plants.
That’s not what was distracting me on the call. Our new puppy Gus came out and was playing in the water from the hose. This dog is so cute. He takes after me, shockingly handsome, and doesn’t even know it. Having two daughters, the dog has become my favorite son.
He’s a mommas boy too. Seeing my wife gleefully playing with the dog made my heart explode.
When you love someone for nineteen years and think that you couldn’t love them anymore, and then you realize you like them even more.
All this is happening, and I’m supposed to be talking on the video call. They have to know I’m distracted. So I apologize and blurt out, “Is there anything better than seeing the ones you love, love what you love?”
Reflection Question:
What Brings You Joy?
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Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens,
you faithfullness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
Your justice like the great deep.
O Lord, you preserve man and beast.
How precious is your unfailinig love?
Psalm 36:5-6
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