Transitions are hard because of endings. Losing my job, leaving more questions than answers, has been a roller coaster. Mostly of the demeaning way they handled it.
My efforts to put in time to end things well were contorted, and lawyers got sent after me with serious threats to my livelihood. I satisfied the requests, yet the threats continued. Apparently I was liable for another’s incompetence.
I crafted schemes of retaliation on multiple fronts. Orchestrating plans to take them out at the knees. Ways that they would never see coming.
As the last moment approached. I was anxious if they would follow thought on the threats. The very day one phase ended, I received an offer at a new position. I’m really excited about this next chapter in my life, as I go enjoy my talents in the sunshine.
But I couldn’t let go of wanting to get back at them.
Humorously, I told a few folks my plans.
Wouldn’t it be funny if I…
Wisdom comes back “Take the highroad.”
Yet more and more ideas kept crossing my mind. I couldn’t let go of the desire to make his blood boil, spike his blood pressure and imagine his face going beet red.
I cracked my Bible and prayed the next Psalm on my schedule:
Do not be incensed by evildoers.
Do not envy those who do wrong.
For like grass they will quickly wither
and like green grass they will fade.
Trust in the Lord and do good.
Dwell in the land and keep faith.
Take pleasure in the Lord,
that he grant you your heart’s desire.
Direct your way to the Lord
Trust Him and He will act,
and He will bring forth your cause like the light,
and your justice like the high noon.
Be still before the Lord and await Him.
Psalm 37:1-7
The Psalm kept going and clearing the fog where I could move forward and not look back. I was moving forward to wants next, not getting away from what could have been. I was being freed from my attachment to the past.
By awaiting the Lord, I could see the timing of it all was grace upon grace. What I needed arrived at the right time. On its own accord and not of my doing.
What I have learned from this experience and from publishing the book is that the pieces always come together. Things arrive when you need them the most. When the gap seems to vast, a small step comes long as a grace.
Such a gift.
“our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson…
on a high.”
Ted Lasso