We all have that inner critical voice that comes after us, like Toto yapping at Dorothy’s feet, that cuts us down. It seems to always be on our tail, like a heat-seeking missile. It only has one aim, and that is to keep us living small.
If given free rein, this voice moves into self-deprecation. This is when it comes to our identity with messages like “you are worthless,” “no one cares what you have to say,” “no one cares about you,” “you are good for nothing.”
No one ever deserves to hear these messages, yet routinely we belittle ourselves in this way. Not only does this make our lives miserable, but it also keeps us from doing the work of realizing our calling. When we give in and listen to the voice as if it is true, we cease to make a difference.
It is also destructive to learning. We all make mistakes, and we all have shortcomings. It is what we signed up for as a human.
But when are fall short, we get to choose, will I reinforce the message and belittle myself? Or will I own it, take responsibility, and seek to learn from it?
Try out these two postures:
“Yeah, I blew it, but I know how to do better next time.”
vs
“Yeah, I blew it, I’m such a loser, I’ll never get it right.”
Next time you stuff something up, pick one of the two. I hope you choose the kind one, and no one deserves to hear the other one.
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