Iowa City, IA
At 22, finding out I was going to be a dad, a common thought was I’m too young for this.
It had its echos, do I have what it takes and how am I going to do this?
Every new milestone makes it louder. I’m too young to have a kid in school. We are too young to have a high school-er.
And today…I’m too young to have a kid in college.
I am starting to realize that I’m not all that young anymore. And I really miss how easy parenting was when my kids were young. We would read stories to our kids in bed every night. They played this game where they hid extra books in the bed, and pull them out as a way to stay up later.
The sweetest thing happened last night. I made plans and arrangements to make my daughters last night at home meaningful. We laughed and cried and prayed and headed off to bed full and spent.
On our bed was the kid’s book The Empty Pot. It was my favorite book to read the kids. It is a Chinese parable with a message about honesty. I have some great voice impersonations for it and key words to switch around to crack them up.
The favorite book I loved to read was my kid’s favorite book for me to read. It has a sticky note on it that said:
dad,
can we
read this
together one
more time?
We stayed up late and read a few more books. We laughed and cried some more and remembered family moments.
Today, the last thing we did before leaving the house was to say goodbye to her room. There were more hugs and tears that the dogs licked off our faces.
When it was time, I asked, “Are you ready to go?”
It brought another outburst of tears, and a loud, “no, I’m not ready.”
I felt the same way. Never felt ready.
More tears flowed. Before long, the bravest little girl I know declared, “Ok. Let’s go.” And she marched off into her future.
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“Let go, and know that I am God.
I loom among nations, I loom upon earth.”
The Lord of armies is with us,
a fortress for us, Jacob’s God.
Psalm 46:10-11
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