We are made in the image of a relational God. The members of the Trinity, Father, Spirit, Son, is three persons in a relationship as one God.
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.”
Genesis 1:26
We are wired for relationship. The core of who we are is all about relationships. Each of us has three main relationships, our relationship with ourselves, others, and God.
We connect to our sense of self through awareness and acceptance of every part of our lives. We relate to others by reaching out and knowing that they will be there for us, we attune to one another. We relate to God, the source of all things, by our dependence on Him, acknowledging that He is God and I am not.
When relationships go awry, it is a huge source of struggle. When something or someone we love is not going right, it can feel like everything is not right.
When Relationships Are Bad, Everything Is Bad
If you look at the things that are troubling you right now, it can fall under one of these three categories. You are ashamed of yourself about something you did or who you are. Someone you love is wreaking havoc and running roughshod over your life. Or God feels so distant, absent and unconcerned with what you are going throught. Our biggest challenges may have components that fit into all three areas.
Why is it that the people we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most? And it’s not always the big things that hurt us. It’s the feelings of disconnection when you feel judged or misunderstood that can often lead to resentment.
And then there is the distance we feel with God. If he is a relational God, why can he feel so uninvolved? And if he is the source of love and life, what is with all this trouble and crisis that is ambushing the ones I love and me?
When things are not going well, it is easy to point the finger away from ourselves and place the blame elsewhere. But the first thing we need to do is reconnect with ourselves.
How To Reconnect To Ourselves?
Reconnecting to ourselves means integrating the centers of body, heart, mind and soul. A simple mindful practice is to connect with each of these areas individually and then integrating them.
Assume and stable posture with your feet flat on the floor and arm uncrossed. Become aware of the sensations you are experiencing in your body. Welcome anything you notice, tightness, heat, numbness or lightness.
Consider the emotions that may be connected to what you are holding in your body. Can you identify what the emotions are, sad, angry, scared, happy, excited, or tender? Can you describe the feelings? Do they remind you of anything or times you have felt this way?
Become mindful of the life experiences that connect to what you are experiencing. What is the larger context or circumstance in your life that you can attribute your feelings to? Are you able to describe the story of what you are going through?
Words Are How We Connect
Our soul is the part of us that allows as to connect to something bigger than ourselves. When we are connected to ourselves, we connect more deeply to one another, which connects us more fully to the reality that connects us all, God.
When we notice when we receive something meaningful, a loved one has expressed to us. It resonates with our soul. Have you been able to notice when something you have said resonates with another?
A deeper sense of meaning and belonging is transferred by what we express. Words come with power, either to cut down or build up and hurt or encourage and bring life.
For the people I know with a healthy relational world, they are resolving differences and spending time with the people you love, having meaningful experiences, building a sense of togetherness, having fun! Using words to express how much someone means to you. These are the things I need to schedule and not let other things crowd them out.
Reflection Question:
How are your relationships these days?
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Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:29-31
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