When situations arise, or painful realities come our way, we don’t see things as they actually are. We bring our judgments and prior conditioning as a way of perceiving or making sense of what is going on.
There is an encounter in John 9 between Jesus and a blind man. Jesus restores the man’s sight by spitting in the ground, making mud, putting it on his eyes, and telling him to wash in a pond.
As you can imagine, the man is filled with joy, awe, and wonder about receiving his sight. A great debate broke out among the man, his parents, and the religious leaders. It was about whether he was really born blind and if he was blind because he sinned or his parents sinned.
Jesus picks up on the conversation of whether or not this guy is blind and why he is blind. Jesus changes the conversation to talk about spiritual blindness and leaves the religious leaders wondering, are we also blind?
Jesus said, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” Some of the Pharisees near him heard these things, and said to him, “Are we also blind?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains.
John 9:39-41
In other words, we are blind when we don’t know we have a problem.
The story in John 9 shows that it is hard for us to know what is really going on.
We Deceive Ourselves
Events happen, and we interpret them in many different ways. We need to make sense of the situation with judgments and narratives to find an explanation for why things happen.
Trying to figure out the problem, but more often than not, the way we see, or our inability to see it the problem. There are things we are unable and unwilling to acknowledge about reality.
On eye-opening (sorry I couldn’t help it) book on this topic is Leadership and Self-Deception. For a primer on self-deception, take look at this short video:
According to Leadership and Self Deception, I have a problem that I don’t know I have, and then I start blaming other people for the challenge. And you do it too, so you start accusing me.
When the blame circle goes round and round, nothing gets solved. We just go back and forth, trying to get the other person to realize that the problem, or the fallout from the problem, is their fault.
The only way I can get out of this cycle is to take ownership of the part I played in causing the problem. It is my responsibility to acknowledge what was my fault.
It is from this position that we can see the humanity in others and be curious about what they are going through. Then it comes down to staying curious for longer, before jumping to conclusions.
Getting Curious About Others
In the 1930’s Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber wrote the book I and Thou (You). To be honest, I didn’t read the book, but his work has come up by other authors interpreting his work.
In every encounter we have with others, we are either in an I-It relationship or an I-Thou relationship. I-It relationships are impersonal relationship where we see the other person as a means to an end. An I-Thou relationship recognizes the humanity of the other person
As a salesperson, I spent most of my career in the I-It category. A customer was a way to a sale, to meet quote, and to get a paycheck. No doubt this is probably a two-way street, most buyers are only engaging us because they need what we have got.
To move the encounter to the I-Thou category, it requires seeing the other person as a human. Someone with needs, hopes, desires, and challenges. They have a family, they have work responsibilities, and they have pressures like us all.
Every Story Matters
When we get to know others, we piece together their story, and that is holy ground. People matter, and their stories matter.
Allowing yourself to be as you are, gives others space to do the same. Being with other people in what they are experiencing. Giving them a gift of acceptance and encouragement.
Seeing the dignity of others is fulfilling. You didn’t just get an order. You encountered another, made in God’s image. You get to see this Imagio Dei in others. It is an encounter with the divine.
We are connected. We are here for each other. We are all in this together
Also, it is the only way to be successful. I can only help others with their problems when I can see my own issues. When you care about people, you can adequately meet their needs. It led to satisfied customers and increased customer loyalty.
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Who are those who fear the Lord?
He will show them the path they should choose.
They will live in prosperity,
and their children will inherit the land.
Psalm 25:12-13
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