The College Admissions Scandal in the huge story in the news this week. If you are not familiar with the story, wealthy parents paid large sums of money, found ways to cheat on entrance exams or pretend to be athletes to get into elite schools.
This story is about using wealth and privilege to bypass the selection process.
I had a 4-hour plane delay this week and read nearly every article I could on this scandal. I realized that this story is more about our status roles in society.
For a brief primer on status roles, Monty Python is the best resource. Please review this clip:
The person in the clip says it perfectly: “We perpetuate economic and social differences in our society.”
We do this, mostly unknowingly, in how we buy and sell products, and how we treat other people.
We all look to advance our standing in life. We all want to help our kids thrive, flourish and be successful.
The narrative we tell ourselves about our lives is played out in the choices we make and the actions we take. We can choose the hard, slow and deliberate path of character formation or we can take a shortcut.
While the actions these parents took were sinister and shameful, we all look for easy options to advance ourselves. Some people join a Country Club. I bought a Mercedes!
Which reminds me of Eve going for the apple, which looked delightful, instead of going to God, an intimate relationship that was available and willing to provide for every need. But that might be a topic for another day.
Looking for Things That Will Solve My Own Problems
Post College I have voraciously read books in the leadership or personal development world. These books have been from a Christian perspective, or otherwise.
Books were brain food, but I was looking for something to make things right in my life. To help me to be the person I wanted to either be or get what I wanted to have. These would be ideas, concepts or strategies for transformation to grow, develop and find freedom.
I lacked fulfillment in my work world. I didn’t have the energy or enthusiasm that I usually did. In my personal life, I want deeper and more meaningful relationships.
I went from one book to the next. I was mostly interested in the quick fix, low hanging fruit or easy answers. This was an individual endeavor and a solo pursuit. In effect, it led to more isolation.
This pursuit changed in 2015 when my mentor invited me into his leadership development program.
Finding A Circle of Safety
When I was involved in this program, and the ongoing years following, I have come to realize that ideas or information is not enough to drive transformation.
I am learning that the environment we are in, specifically the people, which is the biggest factor in our growth. As I started to open up and share how I was really doing, the ways I took the easy way out, and what I wanted for my life, things started to change.
I developed a trusted circle of safety that included people from diverse lifestyles. Instead of me solving my own problems, it became us working through our issues.
When I came into this development program, I was overwhelmed with my workload and unfilled from my work. Over time, I was able to carve out a role that plays to my strengths, improve my relationships with my sales manager and CEO, and let the results speak for themselves. I am much more enthusiastic about my work, and that transfers to more success and has freed up much more time.
Taking Deliberate Action
The change process requires work, working on yourself. It is not a quick fix. It is taking consistent action towards the direction you want to go. Instead of going all over the place, which is my typical style.
Consistency is like compound interest; it pays off over the long haul.
If you want tender, succulent, fall off the bone meat, don’t put it in the microwave and nuke it!
Lasting growth requires taking methodical and deliberate action. You can take a hundred options. We need an executive function that can narrow the options down and take the best next step.
My coach played a significant role here. The coach is an outside, objective resource that is on your side, pulling for your success, but not caught up in the game.
If you think you are looking for a guide to help you with the growth journey, I would love to talk to you about working with you in a coaching relationship.
The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9