Money is a typical driver for people coming into sales as a profession. Salespeople are frequently the highest earners at a company, and compensation is tied to production. It makes sense as revenue generation is a high priority for any organization.
Growing up in a wealthy family, the future I saw for myself would be with plenty of dollar signs. There were a couple of experiences that shaped my outlook on money. It has taken me years to realize these are not typical childhood experiences.
The impact of these experiences still plays out today. Like when I went to buy a new car.
Acknowledging My Money Story
There are many reasons for buying a particular car—safety, performance, or efficiency. I bought mine for the smell!
A couple of years ago, a good friend of my in-laws passed away. He was a sales guy named Luke. His widow was selling his car. It was a couple of years old and meager miles. So I went and took a test drive.
The instant I sat in the car, I could smell that brand new Mercedes Benz smell. I was taken back to the moment in my teens when I decided I wanted to be rich because with wealth came fun and thrills and no worries.
It was during the school holidays. My dad was heading off to work and handed me a cashier cheque for $100,000. He said the car dealership was coming to drop off mum’s new car.
I looked at the cheque and gasped. My dad responded with a chuckle, “That’s how much a doctor makes in a year.” There was no way I could grasp a doctor’s annual salary being spent on a car.
When it arrived, I sat in wonder and breathing that divine brand new Mercedes Benz smell.
Mum and I took it for a drive. As we came back, winding up the steep hill to our street, I looked at the speedometer, and mum was going 80km in a 60km zone. “It curves so easily,” she said, “I didn’t even realize.”
Another atypical experience formed the connection I had between stacks of cash and life all pleasure.
I was fourteen, and my dad and I were heading out on a trip to the US from Australia. On the way to the airport, a two-hour drive away, we stopped by his bank. It was in a significant historical building in town with solid sandstone walls.
We went to his safety deposit box. It had two key slots, and my dad put his key in, and the guard came over, put his key in, removed the box, and left the room.
The box was filled with US dollars, and I didn’t know what they were. Dad showed me the reverse side of a $100 bill, the green side. And told me they were called “Green Backs.” He was disappointed that he could only bring $10,000 through customs, and we would have to make it last. He only took a small portion of what was there.
We had a real good time on the trip. But now, over 35 years later, I still struggle with uncoupling that association I made with the necessity of stacks of cash for a meaningful life.
Robbing Joy
We all want to feel better. None of us seeks out change when everything is wonderful. It is human nature to want to feel better about something. We confuse pursuing things to attain joy.
Materialism says, “if I could just get X, all my problems would be solved. I’d be safe, and have the freedom to do whatever I want. Life would be a pleasure cruise.”
It could be about things like a new car or a bigger house. “If I drive a fancy car, people will think I’m successful and want to hang out with me.”
It could be about knowledge or creativity. “If I knew more and were a better writer, people would call nonstop for my advice.”
It could even be spiritual. “I’ll serve you, God if you bless me.”
Chasing things to be happy doesn’t lead to joy. When our meaning in life is dependent on external items, worry about how we will survive without them. The anxieties of life rob us of joy.
Discovering Another Form of Wealth
I got my bell rung on a volunteer trip to a prison. Hearing their stories, seeing their tough predicament was a contrast to seeing their joyfulness and their connection to God.
The way they prayed resonated deeply in my soul. They prayed for me in ways that surprised me. It showed the condition of their hearts and the things they desired. It showed how different they were from me.
I was so focused on my wants and desires. I was already sitting fat and happy, and I wanted more. More money to be more secure in life and less worried. Yet I had a different kind of poverty.
An inmate I love, Pastor Hicks, had just been denied parole even though he had a robust case. He wouldn’t have another chance on the parole board for another five years. He acknowledged how hard it was, and how badly he wanted to go home, but accepted that God kept him there for His purposes.
Later in the trip, Pastor Hicks and a couple of other guys were telling stories of Government Cheese their families would get on welfare when they were kids. They were talking about how hard this cheese was to cut and all the ways and things they would use to try and cut it. One man joked about preparing a cheeseburger, and he was far too young to operate a chainsaw! They were laughing so hard and for so long. I hadn’t laughed like that in years.
They were trapped in prison and wanted to be home, but were willing to serve God with their lives. I was trapped in my materialism, wanting things to go a little easier when the expansiveness of contentment offered so much more.
Finding Contentment
The Apostle Paul, writing from prison, has some gold to share about contentment.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:4-7
1. Rejoice and be thankful in all circumstances. Seeing my incarcerated friends handle hardships with poise and resilience showed me how deeply I misunderstood contentment. Accepting experiences that don’t go as expected is receiving each moment as a gift. Striving after more and more erodes my ability to be grateful for what I have.
2. God is near. His presences are always available. Our anxieties are connected to looking at things other than God to provide for our needs. Return to the presence and know you have all that you need.
3. Peace of God. There are strength and contentment to inner peace that doesn’t make sense. It transcends all understanding because we think we need certain things to be satisfied. Real peace and true joy are not dependents on circumstances.
Practicing Contentment
Growing up wealthy, and expecting an affluent future, revealed my poverty. All the while, I chased more and more and was crushed when things didn’t turn out the way I expected. What I lacked weren’t more things. It was more profound contentment, an experience of God, and satisfaction with life.
I’m learning that another way is possible from my incarcerated friends who grew up on welfare. Folks that had so little, yet experienced so much joy. Rich in God is an entirely different way of life than being rich in possessions.
While I am by no means fully content, I’m ever more convinced of the need to separate contentment from money and the trappings it brings.
Over time we need to re-frame the story we tell ourselves about money. I am not saying that you need to give away all of your stuff and become a monk. It is possible to become free of the grip that materialism can have and experience peace.
To practice contentment is to know that you can admire things without acquiring them. It is knowing that you don’t have to have something or have status or admiration to be happy.
As a salesperson, I’ve learned if you hang your identity on success, chasing after deals to feel ok about yourself, you will be crushed by the weight when things turn south.
Our hopes and dreams and desires need to be placed elsewhere.
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But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33
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